we were contemplating land mines actually...or at least bear traps.

Oh man... the worst had to be this high-as-nuts 40-something spindly-twiggly bitch who tumbled in on the breeze one evening. She had a kind of Stevie Wonder sway to her when she spoke and her eyes weren't quite with me.

The conversation went something like this:

I said: "Did you need some bike help?"
she said: "My handlebars are loose. Look..." [fiddles them]
"Could you come back tomorrow? We closed at about 5."
"Oh, but, my handlebars, see? They won't stay put." [fiddles them again]
"Yeah, you see, though, we're closed for the day."
"Oh but my handlebars.. can't you just....?"
"Listen, really, this is about the 20th time I've had this conversation in the past hour. We need to say no at some point. I'm sorry. Bring it back tomorrow. We're closed."
"It's just my handlebars, you see? They.."

I had to turn my back on her.

10 minutes later I spotted her hovering around Tomcat trying to get his attention.

I stepped between them. She began our conversation again as if she'd never met me.

"Oh hi, hello, yes, you see my handlebars!!!! Waaaaaaaa...!" (Okay, I'm embellishing at this point).
I said: "We just had this conversation and I just told you you need to bring it back tomorrow."
"Buuuuut caaaaan't yoooou juuuust.....?????"

I grabbed the bike and hauled it into what was left of the daylight. This also got her bodily out of the shop. I had my alan wrenches on me so I set out to tighten her bars and get rid of her. Of course, she had some kind of basket / fur decor / stuffed teletubby doll / zip tie / duct tape mess in my way, so 90% of my time was spent untangling that shit.

She started chatting with me about the weather.

"It's sooooo luuuurrrrrvely out!! Don't you thiiiiiiiiink??"
"Listen," I said," I'm going to tighten your handlebars. But I'm not interested in talking to you. It makes me really mad when people don't respect our hours and ignore what I tell them. So wait there quietly while I do this and then be on your way."

She shut up. I finished with the bars and held it out to her. As soon as her hands touched it I walked away. She called out after me:

"Oooohhh! That's greaaaaaat! THAAAAANK YOOOOUU!!!" I looked over my shoulder to see her give a little hop and a wave. "My handlebars!!!!!"

"Go piss up a rope," I told her.

Well, not really.

hub Master!
the man who can make a wheel roll without anything but the axle!!

When we were coming in on the early list, we talked to some of the gate people, and apparently they get all sorts of "close personal friends of Larry" who try to get in when they aren't on whatever lists/break whatever rules/getting what they do not deserve...

<<<its not that we don't love you, but we're utterly exhausted and we'd like to enjoy our burn as much as you do.. >>>
This is my plan for next year. When they won't take no for an answer, I will ask them what they did that day. Seriously - I want to find out what they did, what they saw, all the fun they had. And when they are done, I will ask them, "do you know what I did while you did all that neat stuff? I fixed bikes...and now I am not doing that any more. See you tomorrow."

And then Andy will spit on their bike for me :-D

<<<Just because you wear a fun fur bikini doesn't mean we built this city just for you to look cute and get laid. Gah! >>>
We even added to our sign that we'd do repairs after closing time for offers of sex, but got no offers. I guess getting those bikes fixed wasn't THAT important afterall! LOL

' We even added to our sign that we'd do repairs after closing time for offers of sex, but got no offers. I guess getting those bikes fixed wasn't THAT important afterall! LOL '

Thanks to that sign that Ms Cheeky made, I got a wet sloppy kiss as a consolation prize for not being able to fix some womans bike- her kickstand was not kickin anymore. 2 days later, I saw a fully functional kickstand in the spare parts box.

I was a little bummed.

I bet if I were a DJ, life would be different.

There are so many of them but so few of us; I thought being unique, like a snowflake would be a sure attractor......